Grassy,

Perhaps you can give me advice.
How do you stop being a doormat?
It sounds an odd question, but it’s how I’m feeling anymore at work. I’ve been in the same job for over 5 years with no promotion or raise, and though I receive praises from managers, I’ve been told I’m not experienced enough for a higher position- which is instead given to someone with no experience at all. (This has now happened 3 times!) But when it comes to tasks no one else wants to do, I’m assigned to them, sometimes without even asking if I’m free to do them. If I miss it, even if I was unaware of being “volunteered” for it, I get written up! I like my actual job, but all this other stuff is driving me mad. Should I just quit and go elsewhere, losing those 5 years, or go demand to know what I need to do from a higher up? I feel like they’re only keeping me around to handle the stuff no one else will!

TheHelp

TheHelp,

The best way I know of to stop being a “Doormat”, is to stand up for yourself. Employers are a strange breed, I’ve found. They tend to feel guilt over their success and luxurious lifestyle, attempting to fill that void by convincing themselves that their employees all love them. This is rarely the case, it’s human nature to dislike the Boss.

It sounds to me, like your employers are taking your kindness for weakness. When that happens, it’s important to get a little mean. I think that you should seek a private conference with the head honcho, bring your examples of less qualified applicants who have been promoted over you and things you’ve been told in the past about your supposed lack of experience for these higher paying positions. Then with all the sincerity you can muster, inquire earnestly about how and why their definition of experience is so vastly different from yours (and most others who own a dictionary).

Odds are, your boss will feel confronted and feel like this conversation is coming down from a clear blue sky (empathy isn’t high on the list of most employers’ talents). He’ll get defensive, maybe even confrontational, but you must not shy away from this righteous conflict. You can appease his corporate brain with corporate jargon like “Cross Promotional Synergy”, “Social Media Blitz” and “Demographic Appeal”.

If he’s still on the defensive, and it becomes apparent that none of your jargon is piercing his Ego-Shield, it might be time to play a little dirty. Ask him if his definition of “experience” includes possessing a pair of testicles- that will surely get his attention.

Don’t underestimate psychological warfare. The longer Boss Man keeps overlooking you, the harder you have to fight. Perhaps you could use the company photocopier to make copies of an updated resume and leave the paper in the machine after you’re done. You might find that the higher ups have more appreciation for your time and hard work than you expect.

If all else fails, test the waters on your own time. Take some interviews and ask the interviewer how their company feels about “Loyalty”. Corporate types are big on loyalty.

Grassy