I was very disappointed by some of the attitudes expressed in Julie
George’s opinion piece, “Love should never be a battlefield.” 

While I wholeheartedly agree that abusive relationships are a serious problem,
and we need resources to help people who are in abusive relationships,
Ms. George’s use of victim-blaming language was inappropriate and
counterproductive.

Victims of abuse do not “allow themselves to be put in bad
situations.” Abusers put them in those situations. Victims of abuse
are not “creatures of habit” who lack “the courage or will to leave.”

Abusers are master manipulators who intimidate and coerce their
victims into staying through the use of threats, isolation, shaming
and gas lighting. Abuse victims stay with their abusers not because
they are weak, but because they are afraid, and using language that
blames and shames the victims for not being able to protect themselves
only makes it more difficult for them to seek or accept help.

We need to place the blame for continuing abuse on the shoulders of
the people who are responsible for the problem in the first place: the
abusers, not their victims.