Last summer, I became an “au pair” – a foreign person, typically a woman, who helps with housework or child care in exchange for room and board.

My host family lives in a beautiful house in the hills. My main responsibilities are driving their two kids to school and camps every day, preparing breakfast and lunch for them and making sure they are spending active and fun time. Of course, I am also trying to help keep the house clean, or cook a dinner from time to time.

My host parents are friendly, respectful and tolerable, and they never ask me to do anything beyond my responsibilities. I have met many young, fun and interesting people already. I am never bored. I believe becoming an “au pair” in the USA was a great decision.

However, not all “au pairs” are as lucky as I.

My good friend from South Africa is also a nanny in California. Unfortunately, she is not very happy with her choice.

She lives far from downtown and she is not allowed to use their car. Her host parents are not happy with having her friends at their home. She also complains they don’t care about a healthy diet and they are not willing to buy any different products than what they are used to.

She doesn’t transfer to another family because she has made a life in California and if she transfers, she might end up in different state.

Another friend of mine was even more unlucky. She is Scottish and she moved in with a family in New Jersey. She talked to her hosts on Skype before she arrived and she was hopeful that everything would be good. That was not the reality.

On the first day, she was given a long list of responsibilities.

She had to spend all week with the children. She was responsible for cooking dinner every day, doing a thorough house cleaning once a week and tutoring every day for a few hours. She wasn’t allowed to use a car, computer or phone.

All of that made her decide to transfer to a different family. However, the search process is time-consuming and she had to wait 2-3 weeks for a rematch.

Her host family told her she could stay with them until she finds a new family, but she would not be allowed to use anything from their house, including food, and she would not receive any payment. She had to go back to her home country after eight days.

The last story is of my French friend who moved to Washington last summer.

She said, “After our interview, I thought that this is a nice family. And yes, parents were very nice, but kids were rude, mischievous and abusive. They used to shout at me, spit on me, throw the toys on me or slap me. I tried talk to parents and ask them for advice. All I have been told is that they are just small and this is the way children are.”

She asked her agency to find her a new family and she moved to California after two weeks.

Much happier now, she said, “Nothing is perfect in this world. Sometimes we have got issues too. But we are willing to talk and we respect each other and that is the most important thing.”